OUR MISSION
We are a non-profit movement dedicated to throwing light on Narcopathy, a pathological, insidious and often covert form of abuse.
Through stories we raise awareness of:
the psychological, emotional, physical, financial and intellectual abuse by Narcopaths,
the patterns, characteristics and traits of a Narcopath's abuse,
and
how the Narcopath's destructive patterns of behaviour can play out in relationships, workplaces, communities, governments, families, friendships, institutions and organisations.
We give a platform to people to use their voices, speak up and say, 'I SEE'.
WHEN ANOTHER
causes trauma and silences it
distorts the truth and abuses it
steals your reality and corrodes it
takes a person and erases them
we say enough is enough
STORIES
Personal experience, the experiences of loved ones and of those who have sought our confidence, compelled us to raise awareness of the impact of psychological, emotional, physical, financial and intellectual abuse by Narcopaths.
Each story shared on 'Trauma into Truth' is personal, but together through the power of words they reveal the traits and patterns of a Narcopath's abuse: gaslighting, manipulation, coercive control, projection, pathological lying, cognitive dissonance, triangulation and smear campaigns.
The impact of Narcopaths is felt at every level of society, from the personal to the public - in all of humanity.
A Narcopath will take up their position in a relationship, family, charity, school, community group, company, government, committee, business, corporation, congregation... for the sole purpose of hiding their true self in plain sight. This becomes their production: the script is entirely self serving, the action driven by their motives and patterns of behaviour. Their victims are mere players in their play. We raise awareness, so that if you find yourself in one of their productions, you can see behind the mask, the smoke screens and mirrors, and hold on to your identity, freedom, rights and reality.
If you would like to share your story
NARCAWARE
Narcopaths (who we'll call 'Narcs' from here onwards) inflict emotional, psychological, physical, financial and intellectual abuse. It is an under-recognised public health issue, because describing what you can't see or prove presents a huge challenge. It is as invisible in the public conscience as the wounds of those abused.
Narc abuse is often subtle, insidious, covert, gradual, and most of all cumulative. It is important to raise awareness, not only to protect the individual victims, but because ultimately the impact of Narcs is felt at every level of society, from the personal to the public - in all of humanity.
The trauma inflicted by Narcs ensures the victims are trapped in an unreal world of confusion, fear and contradiction. Narcs craft their own truth and tell it as though it is fact. We believe it is crucial to understand the Narc's abusive tactics, their patterns of narcissistic / sociopathic / psychopathic behaviour and the motives behind their techniques of abuse, in order to reveal the truth.
While not a medical term, Narcopath is an unofficial term increasingly used to denote a pathological Narcissist (as defined by the DSM-5), a combination of Narcissist with sociopath/psychopath.
TRAUMA
The ways a Narc can destroy a life and sense of self piece by piece:
Your whole world is shattered into unrecognisable pieces, because the Narc invented an alternate world, distorting truths with lies and upholding them as facts.
You swing between hope and utter despair as goal posts move, pathological lying goes unchecked and fear of what's next is a constant.
You have a growing awareness that your life is being hijacked, your independence stolen and your connection to the world you once knew, lost.
You are stunned that your abuser's sense of entitlement and lack of empathy knows no limits and discounts entirely your autonomy and human rights.
You gain a terrifying awareness your truth can be distorted, silenced and weaponised against you.
You mistrust your take on reality, your judgment and perception, when faced with their daily mind games.
You are told that the trauma, abuse and injury you've experienced aren't real.
You are accused of actions and behaviours that you don't have the capacity to think about, let alone execute.
Left physically alive, but emotionally erased, you are made to feel you have no right to your own perspective, feelings, thoughts, autonomy and opinions.
They hold their superiority over you, as they claim to know what is best for you, yet never follow the demands they make on you themselves.
You feel the betrayal by the Narc who seemed to 'love, respect and support you like no other' but has torn your sense of self and your life apart and discarded the pieces without remorse.
Not only do you suffer the cruelty and maliciousness of the actions inflicted on you by the Narc, they take no responsibility for them and add insult to injury by projecting the blame onto you.
Knowing that you related to the Narc with trust, authenticity, honesty, sincerity, even lovingly where personal relationships are concerned, you realise that for the Narc you were an object to be exploited for their own ends.
When you try to have a two-way constructive and open discussion with the Narc, you are met with a total lack of collaborative, compassionate or sense-making engagement.
You suffer 'mind madness' when trying to make sense of their nonsense: listening to someone make a statement one second and in the next sentence deny it; watch them undertake an act, only to deny it ever happened; showing them irrefutable proof, only for them to assert that it wasn't them.
You struggle to navigate a life in which you are constantly ridiculed, patronised, belittled and shamed.
You try to reason with the Narc, upholding the truth, only to be met with punishment, and then made accountable for the cause of your abuse.
Your hopes are shattered as counsellors, agencies, judiciary, colleagues and relatives fall for the Narc's constructed narrative and see you as the deluded one.
Your reputation is torn to shreds and your character assassinated within your networks of family, friends, community and associates, as the Narc implies you are unethical, unstable, paranoid and irrational.
You suffer the mental torture and exhaustion that results from trying to find clarity while the Narc is intentionally distorting your version of reality.
You pay a high price for seeking out healthy independence.
You are pitted against others, as the Narc plays others off against you, so that through division they can exert power and control.
The very essence of your human nature is manipulated, exploited and coerced.
TRUTH
The characteristics, traits and techniques behind a Narc's abusive patterns of behaviour are:
GASLIGHTING
The insidious and systematic psychological technique used to subtly manipulate reality and to intentionally target the victim's mental equilibrium, by silencing victims, shutting down communication, and coercing victims into believing their abuse is not real by denying, minimising or rationalising their abuse. It is a combination of brain washing, psychological bullying, and emotional abuse for the purpose of domination and control. Whether it be in personal relationships, business, politics, media, communities or the work place, all Narcs use this abusive technique. A recurrent trait of gaslighting is the invention of a false narrative. The Narc uses this to brainwash, attack, belittle, discredit and disempower their victims. The Narc normalises falsehoods, repeating them continually in order to overwhelm their victims into feeling confusion, anxiety, shame and inferiority. The ultimate purpose of gaslighting is about power and control of a victim, for the purpose of domination and personal gain.
A pattern of psychological and emotional behaviours used to gain control and power over another person by taking away a person's freedom, identity, sense of self, autonomy and human rights. The Narc uses threats, intimidation, ultimata, manipulation, humiliation, financial abuse, stalking, and isolation to enforce their rules on their victims. The Narc uses tactics that are intended to create a state of fear, uncertainty and subordination in their victims and to give the Narc absolute control. The Narc's intention is to ensure their victims feel their sense of liberty is eroded. The Narc may inflict injury on their victims, if they want to escalate the credibility of threat. They know their victims, study them - their strengths, achievements, vulnerabilities, traumas and fears - and without empathy, conscience or boundaries, using covert manipulation they weaponise the very sense of a person's self against them, actively and consciously destroying their targets.
IDEALISE, DEVALUE AND DISCARD
This is the traumatic abuse cycle of the relationship pattern that the Narc follows. It can take place over years and at times switch between phases in a matter of hours and even minutes, going from an apparently perfect scenario to a nightmare. The cycle can repeat numerous times, creating a whirlwind of emotional destruction.
PROJECTION
Used by a Narc to manipulate their victim into thinking they possess the negative qualities, motives and traits that are at the heart of the Narc's own pathology in order to shift blame and responsibility. During arguments, debate and confrontation, they label others as argumentative to confuse them, to throw them off their train of thought, to avoid addressing the actual issue. They do not and never will care what you have to say, because their only interest is in getting exactly what they want. They deny, attack and reverse victim and offender.
THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN
This abusive tactic is a form of manipulative sabotage, intended to keep the psychological trauma ever present for their victim, while also ensuring the Narc controls the narrative. The Narc will use any weapon available against their victim when that person becomes a threat to their mask. The Narc will smear and slander their reputation and character to discredit them; recruit others to bully them; attempt to destroy them by removing their support system; tell people their alternative narrative, paving the way to make the truth into lies. If they can't personally get to someone, they will manipulate other people into taking the Narc's place by controlling how the victim is viewed. Smear campaigns are standard for the Narc because they need to protect their public persona. Once someone is a threat to that image, the Narc must discredit them completely. No contact is best way to deal with the irrational, controlling, competitive, vindictive, ego-injured Narc.
TRIANGULATION
Abuse by proxy. The Narc recruits a person or organisation to do their bidding, pitting them against their victim, creating discord and opposition in order to ensure the Narc's control, domination and opportunity to manipulate, divide and conquer. It causes a lot of drama (which is like a hit of cocaine to the Narc), makes them the star of an ego-boosting story line, and prevents people from communicating. This way the Narc completely controls the narrative: the victims of their play are manipulated to talk about one another without ever talking directly - this is important to the Narc, because if people did objectively compare stories, their public persona/mask/false self image would be endangered. The Narc, therefore makes sure those they manipulate are so distrusting of one another as to never speak. Narcs construct supportive groups who behave as though the Narc's behaviour is reasonable, when it is anything but - the purpose of the group is to enable the Narc to discredit their victim.
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
The Narc's weapon of choice, it causes catastrophic damage to the psyche of the abused and plays an integral part in their abuse. It is a distressing and emotionally destructive mental state where an individual finds themselves simultaneously holding two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values. In order to resolve this inner conflict the individual is motivated by the need to resolve the contradiction and to look for reasons that one set of beliefs over the other is true by creating a differing belief system or questioning their grasp on reality. They are driven to rationalise and change their attitudes, values and actions in order to reduce the dissonance they are experiencing.
PATHOLOGICAL LYING
Narcs are masters of this. Hardwired to be dishonest, deceitful and intentionally manipulative, when faced with the truth they will always have an excuse, never be at fault and take zero responsibility. They lie even when it is not necessary. They lie as proof that the victim of their lies is inferior to them. Everyone who encounters a Narc is being lied to and cheated but not many people will ever be aware of it. They construct an alternative reality and a false mask - a play-life - and the more they can get others to perform in that play, the more they believe their own constructed version of reality. To a Narc the 'truth' is what they say it is, at the time they say it and it will serve the Narc at that particular time. Narcs are masters of denying responsibility and avoiding accountability; it is always someone else's fault.
DENY, ATTACK, REVERSE VICTIM & OFFENDER - 'DARVO'
Is an acronym that best describes a tool a Narc uses to cause psychological destruction to their chosen victims. Through the use of gaslighting, smear campaigns and pathological lying they create delusional false realities in which they are innocent, and their victims - the people they have chosen to discredit in order to disempower and control - are not to be trusted.
COERCIVE CONTROL
MESSAGES
Together
we take a trauma silenced and speak up
we take a truth abused and honour it
we take a reality stolen and own it
we take the person erased and give them a voice.
We use our voices, speak up and say, 'I See and I choose to take back my sense of self, my freedom, my autonomy, my human rights and my life'.
If you would like to add an 'eye' and 'your message', please go to our twitter feed.
Everyone saying the same things even though they are not true?
Why is this happening all over the world?
Will the world be a place worth living in when I leave uni?
22/11/21
I See
I See
You took his life lines and severed them.
Assaulted his memories and destroyed them.
Stole his purpose and crushed it.
24/11/21
I See
The abusive situation we currently face: say No to being abused, come from our shared humanity, and choose from a place of compassion and mutual respect how we want to live our own lives.
25/11/21
I See
By stealth your words stole my peace of heart and mind.
Your form of protection took ownership of my life.
Your rules for me to follow, and you to break.
Your construct of fear created invisible chains.
Bars of despair and hopelessness formed around me.
Isolated, I sat alone.
25/11/21
I See
No kindness and fake care.
You make me keep my friends at a distance.
You make me hide my face.
You forbid my hugs for my Nana.
I can't see when it will end.
26/11/21
I See
Your words were empty and your promises false.
You put me on a pedestal and clapped.
Then you took my self worth and crushed it.
Ordered me to get vaccinated.
I no longer have a livelihood
27/11/21
I See
The fear in me nana's eyes, she remembers a time gone by when power was abused.
The worry in me dad's voice, as the business struggles.
The hope when I look in the mirror, because I believe the people will win this battle.
29/11/21
I See
Young and old.
I hear accents from all over the world.
I feel the strength of the human spirit, as we walk in protest side by side, and say,'No, to vaccine mandates'.
28/11/21