MindF*ck
''I remember watching the BBC news and they said that a dangerous virus had jumped from bats to people and was killing people in China - somewhere called Wuhan, which I’d never heard of even though it has a bigger population (11m) than London. We never studied China in school. The origin was an animal market, the news said. It seemed a long way away from Ealing, where I live.
My family followed the news every night as they showed the viral wave spreading across the world. Soon it was in Europe, and didn’t feel so distant any more. The stories of overcrowded hospitals were so scary, with people dying on their own because they were so contagious their families couldn’t see them. There were desolate people in Italy talking about losing their parents and not being able to hold their hand or even be in the same room during their final days.
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The bad news was relentless. Every night they gave the numbers of people falling ill until you couldn’t stand watching any more. I got annoyed with the way they told the news. They didn’t say how many cases were actually ill and not asymptomatic. I didn’t understand why someone who didn’t feel ill was included as a case until they explained that these people were ‘super-spreaders’. That sounded so sinister. It began to feel really scary.
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I started looking for more information on Twitter and Youtube. I found scientists who seemed to know their stuff who were speaking up, and saying that asymptomatic spreading was a lie. Also that the numbers of cases were being inflated using every trick the authorities could use, like counting deaths from other causes. It seemed the authorities were putting all their focus and money on testing everyone. They later admitted the PCR test was rubbish and couldn’t even distinguish COVID from flu. No wonder flu 'disappeared' last year.
At the time I still believed the BBC was telling the truth. I didn't even think they would report misinformation without checking it. Call me naive but the BBC News was often on in my house and my parents believed it, I thought it had a reputation for quality news reporting and I had never questioned it before. They don’t any more, obvs. It’s a joke to call it ‘journalism’ when it is really just government propaganda, and half the time it isn’t even very convincing lying. None of it added up.
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The Prime Minister gave his daily press announcements with two medical advisors. It was all numbers of deaths, and it all seemed very theatrical. Boris spoke like he thought he was channelling Churchill, and a voice in my head said ‘Boris you’re a phoney, and a crap one’. Churchill had credibility. He may not have been a pleasant man but he was for real about fighting to protect our freedoms, the same freedoms Boris seems to be giving away with a smirk. If he thinks he’s a modern Churchill he’s seriously deluded.
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Then the lockdowns started. It affected us all differently in my family. My grandma felt it the worst. She lives on her own, in the Channel Islands. She never used to listen to the news but now she was watching it every day and she never left her house. I told her that it was okay to go for a walk but she said she'd rather be safe than sorry. My sister was planning to visit her in the summer last year but Guernsey had closed its borders because it had about 10 cases - 10 ffs. We do Zoom calls and I notice that although she is usually a cheery person now she seems anxious.
My sister and I have very different attitudes to what has gone on. She has the mindset ‘just do what the government says and we’ll get back to normal’. She got vaxxed as soon as possible because she thought that was what you had to do if you 'wanted your freedoms'. Back then I couldn’t have got a vax even if I’d wanted it, but I didn’t. There is no way I am going to put an experimental genetic treatment into my blood. I get it that people want to trust the NHS and PHE and the other government agencies but big Pharma, seriously?? I’m no expert but you can see online that over recent years the people we are trusting with our bodies have made huge pay outs for damages. They seem to put profit above everything. I can’t fathom the minds of those Pharma people. They are less than human if you ask me.
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Now I worry the government cannot be trusted any more than big Pharma. I try to find out as much truth as I can. I am careful to look for reliable sources online, not mad conspiracy theories. I found some top scientists who were speaking out against what the government is doing. It drives me insane that so many people just go along with what the government tells them even when it’s obvious they are lying. And it’s really sinister that when experts about the science speak out they just get shut down and on FaceBook they slam NHS warnings on them (and send them into online 'jail'). I was always taught we live in a free democracy and that it’s only totalitarian regimes like China that use censorship like that. Now it’s the UK.
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My mum and dad did the whole mask-wearing thing even though I discovered online that masks were totally ineffective against COVID-19. I told them it was pointless wearing a mask but they said it made sense. Also I looked into it and learned that lockdowns not only don’t prevent the spread of a virus that thrives on close contact, they encourage it. Wtf? Why were we doing it, given that it made businesses close and people were going crazy being isolated. My friend Louise and her whole family (there’s five of them) didn’t leave their small flat for weeks. It really affected her little brother.
My dad was impressed at the lengths the government was willing to go to, to keep people safe. When I told him that before COVID it was accepted the best thing was to allow people to catch a coronavirus and get natural immunity he said they thought that was a mad idea. Even the government advisors who had started by talking about herd immunity changed their minds. It seemed everyone was convinced that shutting everything down was the only solution.
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The thing is, they are making a whole lot of rules that we have to follow and say they follow the science but the evidence doesn't stack up. I get really frustrated that my family can’t see this. All they see is danger. After a while they got annoyed by me questioning the news. My sister and I fell out over it and we still aren’t really talking, which makes me really sad. I miss her like we used to be.
The moment I finally lost trust in the mainstream media was after I had been on a demonstration in London. It was a Freedom March. It was huge. I don’t know exactly how many but the streets were full of thousands of people, all walking peacefully together for our freedom. It felt so good. I got home and switched on the news to see what they said about it. There was nothing. Just the usual scare-mongering about getting the jab. It was then I realised they have an agenda, and it’s not about telling the news.
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What do I think now, 18 months into this nightmare?
To be honest I think it’s one huge mindf*ck. I listen to the politicians speaking and all I see are people who are completely shameless about lying even when it’s totally obvious that’s what they are doing, whether it’s the previous Home Secretary aggressively talking in meaningless circles, or the Health Secretary telling us we have a moral duty to get vaccinated (are you seriously telling us our moral duty, Matt??) or the creepy Canadian Prime Minister who looks like he should be a regular ‘nice guy’ then suddenly comes over all arrogant and threatening, or the President of the US saying it’s a pandemic of the unvaccinated when the evidence shows this isn't true. I wonder if there are any real leaders in the world. Real leaders have integrity and serve the people who elect them.
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Why is everyone saying the same things even though they are not true? And why is this happening all over the world? Why are governments in previously free nations trampling on civil liberties and human rights with such enthusiasm?
I am not actually joking when I say I am worried that by the time I leave uni the world will be a place that is not worth living in.''
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It has helped to tell my story. Thank you for reading it, Catherine.